There are some skills that improve our chances of success in all areas of life.
I have just finished reading the book ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss. In his book, Neil covers the story of a period in his life when he suddenly found himself involved in the secret society of professional Pick Up Artists (PUA’s).
PUA’s devote a major part of their life to picking up women. They learn various skills including magic tricks, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP… think Tony Robbins as a good example), lines that make approaching people easier and much much more in the hope of improving their ability to succeed. Perception becomes their new reality. PUA’s focus on increasing the way they are perceived and gradually turn this into a reality through practice and lifestyle changes.
One such characteristic a lot of these PUA’s aspire to is to be an Alpha Male. An Alpha Male is seen as the leader of a group and has a lot of traits that are naturally desirable for women. In the book, Neil’s PUA Mentor named Mystery outlines to him the six characteristics of an Alpha Male, namely:
- Well connected.
- Well groomed.
- Social center of the room.
- Sense of humour.
Reflecting on these six aspects, I believe that they apply to personal success in more areas than just merely picking up women. They are in fact the same characteristics that help to best portray your character and the real you, which can drastic improve your chances for advancement and other personal success. This can work both for an employee and an entrepreneur. Let’s look at these characteristics in more detail.
A smile is one of the best things a person can do all the time without much effort. Smiling at people helps brighten their day, portrays that you are a happy and confident person and generally improves your mood. Smiling takes fewer muscles than frowning, so smiling is not entirely challenging. I enjoy smiling (and laughing too for that matter) and try to do so in all of my business dealings. Life is too short not to smile.
There is a lot that can be said on confidence, and everyone has their own opinion on how to have it. The main common denominator for confidence however seems to be passion on a subject/s and the ability to express that confidence publicly. Body language, tone of voice, etc. are merely tools to help you portray the true confidence that you have. By devoting time to your passions and then working on developing tools and techniques to improve the way you communicate your passions, you can quickly skyrocket your confidence and success.
3. Well Connected
Having a network is important to business and personal success. Your network does not need to be huge, but must be a quality network. A person with ten friends who would die for them is a lot better off than someone who knows 100 people.
No one should ever view friendship on a give one-take one sort of approach. Jesus himself recommended that when a friend asks for a shirt you should give him your coat as well. By listening and putting quality effort into our friends we can build lifelong relationships where both we and our friends are valued and respected.
4. Well GroomedPUA’s recommend practicing good grooming and being well dressed.
Your chances of success in business are generally increased with better grooming, well-fitting clothes and style. Wearing quality clothes, making sure facial hair is maintained properly and general health and exercise will help to improve the way you appear to others. Outside of business i have been trying this the last week or two by doing the following:
- Got my hair cut out of the ordinary (I now have a mohawk).
- Wearing bright coloured shirts (bright orange, yellow, or green).
- Improving my body posture.
- Eliminating my facial hair stubble.
- Wearing new and different jewelry (Some pieces I have been wearing for five years), etc.
These slight changes (at a relatively affordable cost) have increased a number of things for me:
- My self confidence.
- The number of compliments I receive.
- The number of conversations I have with new people.
- Respect from friends.
- My physical appearance, etc.
It is also good to spend a little bit maintaining pace with fashion. I remember years ago wearing ‘fashionable’ jeans that were really baggy and looked big on a friend who was over six foot (I was about 5 foot at the time). Nowadays I can’t believe what I was thinking back then and have made adjustments to my wardrobe. I now wear clothes that are becoming of my appearance.
Drastic changes don’t need to occur however paying more attention to grooming and clothing as well as experimenting with these areas could lead to interesting results.
5. Social center of the room
Being the social center of the room for a PUA means being perceived as the leader in the room, your group, your network. An example of this in business can be seen by asking yourself; ‘Who are the go to people on ______?’ If you are not one of them, then chances are you are not yet the social center of the room. This is okay as it is something you can work on improving over time.
Becoming the social center takes a lot of courage and falls back into ‘perception is reality’. If people perceive you as adding value to their life, business, etc. then they will say you are (whether you really are or not could be debatable depending on the situation). Some ways to do this is to begin by giving away some of your time around your areas of business (ie: giving free lectures or helping people free of charge). If you gain a loyal follower they will support you for a long time and add to your position as the social center.
6. Sense of humour
Humour is a great quality to have. I am not talking about cracking racist, sexist, etc. jokes but rather being able to look at the funny side of life. Years ago I read something that mentioned that a lot of humour can come from rearranging the facts to present them in a different manner. I tried this for a little while with a bit of success, although it takes practice to master. Humour can make relationship building as well as personal happiness a lot easier, which can make you more approachable to both individuals and businesses. A good way to start is to watch others who are comedians or have a sense of humour.
Spend a little bit of time reviewing the characteristics of an Alpha Male and consider how adapting some of them to your life may improve your results in business and other aspects of your life. You may find that a new world of possibilities awaits you, where you are able to get that promotion, pay raise, new client or customer as well as feeling that you are reaching your potential in life.